Friday, 6 January 2012

The pain in the pleasure (or maybe the other way around?)

I assume that most of you are aware of the Cranky Spanker (; he has a great blog, which you should check out if you don't already.

His most recent post made me think about what I enjoy, and what I'm prepared to put up with in order to indulge myself.

CS talks about the discrepancy between disliking pain, and enjoying being spanked; I remember reading a great article in a spanking mag years ago by an out of the closet spankee, in which she commented on the erroneous assumption outside the scene that if you like to be spanked then you enjoy being in pain.

I know something about pain; I've endured several health issues in the last few years, and, in particular, I have severe arthritis in my fingers and toes. It is advanced enough that the large joint in each of my little fingers has been totally eroded. There is no longer anything there to bend.

My fingers hurt all the time, everyday, no matter what I do. On bad days it feels as though someone is slowly forcing the joints apart, whilst at the same time the sharp jagged edges of my bones are breaking through the flesh. It really isn't fun.

Imagine what it feels like to slap these fingers against someone's bottom, 70 or 80 times.

You know what? I'll happily do it, on my worst day.

I'll tolerate the pain, for the psychic, sexual and physical pleasure that I get from spanking a fleshy bottom.

I've never considered my spanking obsession to be a perversion, but it's just possible that being willing to suffer prolonged pain in order to pursue my cp compulsion is.

Quite apart from the pleasure I take in having a stinging well-spanked rear from time to time. Of course, in absolute terms my bottom hurts less than my fingers do.

Why do I love one specific type of pain. Dunno. It is very specific too. My wife likes to slap my thighs when she spanks, and I quite dislike that. A few inches higher and I'm in heaven. Buttocks good, thighs bad. There's no logic to this, and, whilst I am a master of creating seemingly reasonable origins for almost anything that I care to justify, this has me stumped.

I know what I get from spanking, and being spanked, is more than the merely physical, and so the pain is only a part of it, but it is an important part. I get much less satisfaction from being spanked if it doesn't leave me at least tingling and warm, and ideally I want it to have stung, a least a little.

If anyone can give me a good reason for this I'd love to hear it.

The comments box is open.


PS the pictures, for your viewing pleasure, have been captured from various Xerotics trailers.


  1. Great post. I'm fascinated by the intersection between chronic illness, health problems and disability with kink. Many of the people I play with regularly suffer from chronic pain and the way it interacts with their kink varies from person to person. My friend Jimmy has a condition which affects his hands in a similar way to yours, but he still prefers the intimacy of hand spanking over using an implement - despite the pain. It does make things tricky for his bottom though, knowing that he really could say "this will hurt me more than it hurts you" with perfect truth!

  2. Hello again Pandora

    Thanks for the thoughts; the "this will hurt me more..." thing had never occurred to me. It really should have.

    I too much prefer to hand spank, despite the pain. Too be fair, anyone dealing with a chronic condition has two options; give in and have no life, or let it pass you by as much as possible and just get on with the things you would normally do. You get used to a general level of pain, and often, while it is there, you are not consciously aware of it.

    It's possible too that, when my fingers are bad, a good spanking (either given or received) will take my mind of it, by focussing me on something I find immensely pleasurable. I haven't really tried that out.

    All the best