Do I not like that! The wit and wisdom of Graham Taylor (no, not really - actually how not to make a spanking video)>

I love the use of the mirror in this shot

Oh, I know, you weren't fooled for a moment. You never really believed that I was suddenly going to make this into a footballing blog.

I suppose some explanation of the title might be useful, especially for my readers not based in the UK. Hardly seems worth wasting the words on Mr Taylor but, in the interests of sporting education, or some such crap, here we go.

Graham Taylor was a football manager of strictly average ability who somehow was appointed as manager of the English national team. His time in charge was not a great success, but, for an important qualification game (against Poland I think), he allowed himself to be miked up by a television documentary crew. England blew it, in part due to some iffy officiating (or was that in the later match against Holland?)

Anyway at one such incident Taylor muttered the now famous line "Do I not like that?"

Have I made I your life better with that anecdote? Nah, didn't think so. 

Ah well.

A 100 hundred stroke caning; too much for me, although Pandora seems to be okay with it

And now to some actual spanking related matters; here, for you to disagree with as you will, are the things I don't wish to see in the spanking videos I enjoy. Feel free to leave comments, and complete the poll.

1. Verbal abuse of the spankee. I like to hear them confronted with their misdeeds, and told off, but a level of respect can still be maintained. I especially dislike the often used phrase "you little shot", in femdom films. I also dislike the Girls Boarding School site because of this.

2. Lingering shots of genitalia. I realise when underwear is removed shots of "naughty bits" occur, but I prefer not to be given a detailed lesson in genital anatomy. Pulling in to a tight shot of a vagina is unnecessary. 

3. Sorry but sex in spanking videos is still something I can do without. No blow jobs, anal intrusions or masturbation. If I want these things I'll seek out a different type of film.

A lovely lady being spanked over the knee - delightful!

4. No brutality/reasonable punishment levels. This is actually a tricky one, as I'm much more willing to accept significant damage to a rear end than I used to be, and, of course, the spankees are consenting to these beatings. I have to judge this individually for each film.

5. No wheelbarrow or diaper position spankings please; for no reason at all really, I just don't like to see these. Nothing wrong with them, and most of my favourite ladies have been featured spanked in them, but I just don't care to see them.

Amelia is always appealing, but with this expression especially so

6. Not a hard and fast rule, but I generally prefer not to see totally naked ladies being spanked. Although sometimes I do. Generally I think that this is governed by context; if the story line can support the nudity then fine. If it's just there to humiliate the spankee, then no thanks. Humiliation is not part of the reason I like spankings.

7. No inappropriate spankings. Firm Hand Spanking, for instance, have a series they entitle "Brotherly Love", in which Kyle (who isn't a spanker I particularly like in any case) spanks Sam Woodley and Kat St James, who are supposed to be his sisters. I find the idea of a brother baring his sister's bottom, and slapping it several hundred times, fucking creepy. And this leaves aside the ones where they are naked and spanked (although the story does actually justify that, as they were nude sunbathing). 

The jodphur trilogy part 1

Part 2 - with added bonus jodphur bottom

Part 3 - I love to see ladies in jodphurs being punished

8. No peeing of pants please. I know it makes a good excuse for a spanking (the stunning Lola Marie seems to feature in several films like this) but honestly? Just yuck.

9. I can't specifically define this one, but I sort of dislike films that show overt paternalism, the kind where the lady is spanked just because the guy is a man, and therefore knows best. I appreciate that all of these films are fantasy, and consent is therefore a given, and still, it makes me a little uneasy. Like the dickhead who posted recently on Chross that he felt women should be spanked by men when they do wrong, and asserted he had often whacked the bottom of a woman in public if he felt they needed it, irrespective of whether he knew them or not (yes, I got a bit annoyed by that one).

Okay. Got all that? Good.

An incredibly original film (I mean it - go check it out)

Just read them back. Christ I sound like a prissy little sod. Probably a result of my advanced age, and lower middle class upbringing.

Fuck it though. At least I'm not hiding how repressed and small minded I am.

But you know, there are exceptions to most rules. The sex thing for instance; there is a lovely film with Sarah Gregory and Kat St James (what, her again?) on, I think, Girl Spanks Girl, where they perform a lesbian librarian fantasy that is incredibly hot.

Ah, Caroline Grey. We've seen a bit of her this week

The Institute of Discipline has what is supposed to be an audition film, of a girl who never turns up again, and clearly finds the level of punishment too much for her. The film shows her face and clasped hands a lot; she is in some distress. Oddly I love this film; perhaps because she reacts so much to what, in reality, wouldn't be an awful degree of punishment for an experienced model. Or even me.

Paternalism is a given in father/daughter spanking films, and quite often in teacher/pupil films, and I go along with this quite happily.

So these guidelines are, to say the least, flexible.

I tell you what, in the near future I'll post a list of what I want to see in the perfect spanking film, and you can all have a laugh at me for that.

Coming up in the near future; 2 site reviews, one site retrospective/update review (I don't know what the Hell to call it - maybe what's new since the last time I was here), more pictures, more opinions and, if all goes well, several model interviews.

Is this the bottom that launched a thousand spankings?

Hurry back; you'll always find a warm welcome here.

All the best

Tim

Token femdom picture, for those of you paying attention

All pictures are...well, I wasn't sure what to do about pictures to tell the truth. I'm reluctant to post pictures showing the stuff I don't like because, well, I don't like these things. 

Ah yes, the well-spanked jig, with Zoe Montana looking frighteningly stern

Putting up other pictures seems to just pander to those readers who just come here to see girls being spanked. Although, of course, I love readers who come here for any reason at all. So, then, just pictures of ladies that I like being spanked, taken from Dreams of Spanking, which is a unique site in Spanking Land for having films that feature both everything I like to see and most of the things that I don't

Zoe again. High time we had a post about her, I think.