Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Sex and spanking; is there a link?

Well, this is a no brainer, isn't it? I could just refer you back to my infamous "wanking post", of recent beloved memory.

It's not quite that simple though.

Clearly, spanking is a sexual fetish; the vast majority of us (I think I can speak for most of us here - anyone got a problem with that?) get sexually aroused by spanking. Or being spanked. Or some extremely exhausting combination of the two.

Why then is it so notable when someone explicitly links the two things in one video?

Obviously I'm talking about Pandora's somewhat controversial image gallery, "Snip Snip", which features, as

well as the expected corporal punishment stuff, some fairly explicit sexual material. And I don't mean explicit in Hollywood terms. This is stiff dicks and real oral sex!
Leaving aside the set's merits as a spanking production (and there are some, if you will excuse the use of the phrase, quite striking images) it is unusual to find spanking sites that also feature explicit sex.

I know that there are some video examples out there, although largely girl on girl
(Bad Tushy, Northern Spanking and Spank that Brat have all featured a handful each). There just aren't many though.

In fact the only films I know of that have spanking and explicit hard core sex are basically vanilla productions, with a bit of CP thrown in.

Have you ever come across anything else quite like Pandora's shoot though? In our happy little realm of spanking?

I'm not a prude; I absolutely accept that there is, for many of us, an explicit link between spanking and fucking. My wife only likes to be spanked as a prelude to sex.

I have no issue with naked bodies, although admittedly I prefer to look at female ones than male. I have no particular objection to the erect male organ (although I prefer my own, and generally I like my hand wrapped around it. Or my wife's lips. Ah, getting off topic here, a bit).

I've seen sex on film before, although I don't seek it out. Most of the time.

I absolutely respect Pandora's right to produce material that she is aroused by, and to post it on her website. I like that she is prepared to move spanking films in directions that most
CP sites would never consider.

I can't say that Pandora's pictures offended me; but, I would prefer not to have seen them. Some of them, anyway - I love the cut away dress with the markings. Very hot!

I'm really not sure why this should bother me. Pandora's body is a pleasure to look at, and it's lovely to see her experiencing physical satisfaction. D (for a guy) is attractive enough. Maybe it's my repressed sexuality; for fuck's sake I'm English, and we don't admit that sex exists.

Mind you, Pandora's English too. Hmm.

Perhaps I'm just an old fart.

Maybe it's just that my sexual obsession is so hard wired towards spanking that anything showing more conventional sex has no interest for me.

Whatever it is, the clip does make me uncomfortable. I wonder if I'm the only one. I noticed that there was only 1 comment added to Pandora's blog post about it.

In fairness though I have to say that the actual photo set attracted a mass of comments, all of which were favourable.

Go on then, kick my ass for me. Tell me I'm wrong.

Oh, but tell me why, as well. Please. I honestly want to know.

All the best


All pictures, as I'm a hypocritical dick, are taken from Pandora's Dreams of Spanking


  1. I didn't know you were an old fart too! I haven't seen you at the meetings.

    1. Oh yeah; I'm a regular. I'm the guy who creeps into the back of the meeting in the slightly suspect grey coat, and spends most of the time muttering to himself.

      I'll wave next time I see you there!


  2. It's weird isn't it? Spanking is sexual for all of us to one degree or another, but everyone has different boundaries. Some people never sleep with their spankers and choose disciplinarians with whom they have no sexual spark; others only enjoy spanking with people they find sexually attractive or are sexually involved with. (I prefer the latter myself, with occasional exceptions. Professional work is obviously different.)

    I think most disciplinary spanking porn has traditionally fitted into the former camp. And there's a place for that in my fantasies too. A non-consent fantasy might call for a top I don't find personally appealing. If I'm doing a school scene, I want the teacher/head to be convincingly authoritative, and they can be attractive but if they take their clothes off mid-detention the whole fantasy loses its power. School spanking isn't about pupil/teacher sex for me, although it is for some people. So I can imagine how you might extend that personal preference across all disciplinary spanking fantasies.

    But the thing is, I enjoy punishment fantasies which are non-sexual, and I also enjoy erotic spanking with my sexual partners. I enjoy dark fantasies with sexual overtones and I enjoy real discipline and dominance/submission with my boyfriends. I'm interested in seeing all of these modes expressed in porn.

    (I am learning that my tastes are broader than most people's!)

    This scene fits into the "erotic spanking / real dominance/submission" category. This doesn't get depicted often between men and women in porn, although you see erotic F/F spanking scenes fairly frequently. Mostly because it requires the players to be genuinely attracted to each other, and many spanking studios have had this aversion to paying for attractive male performers. I don't really like the Kink.com style of sex and spanking either - it's a bit too BDSMy and not enough spanking, a lot of the time, and anyway, I'm both British AND a woman so I like my porn a bit more subtle and intimate than that.

    I think a lot of women scour the amateur spanking tube sites for footage of real couples enjoying hard spanking, and hard fucking. Why not put a bit more effort into a higher quality production? This scene is a real representation of the sex I have. I think there's a demand for spanking and sex with genuine lust, love and chemistry. In fact, the feedback I got on that scene shows that there is :)

    It's not for everyone - it's clearly not your thing - but that's okay, you know? It's one narrow category among many, and everyone's tastes are different. For some people this is too romantic; for others it's not BDSMy enough; for others the spanking is too hard or too soft or whatever; and for some people any combination of sex with spanking is a turn off in porn. You don't have to feel bad about having boundaries, Tim. It'd be a dull world if we were all the same.

    1. Pandora, you are my hero! I've been a bit blocked this last week, worried about offending you with this post. As you say

      "(I am learning that my tastes are broader than most people's!)"

      but that's entirely fine; it's far better to express your own desires than to slavishly follow the pack. I guess that's a lesson for me really.

      I do become aroused by spanking, and I enjoy masturbating to it massively, but otherwise I'm keen to separate spanking and sex (which is difficult for me in real life, as my opportunities to spank are very limited).

      I certainly don't think there's anything wrong in linking the two things; just, as you say, not what I prefer.

      In general (and this is a big admission, I think) I'm not wild about the dominance/submission thing at all, although I accept that non and semi-consensual spanking videos are largely based around it.

      I may just be a bit confused. I'll think about this, and post again.


  3. I love seeing the mix of spanking and sex. Different uhm... strokes for different folks, I guess.

    1. Yeah, exactly Pandora's point, I think.

      I'd love to claim to be a spanking purist, but I hate that kind of elitist bullshit. Spanking for all, that's what I say. Especially women. (shit, there's my bias again!)

      Good to hear from you, my friend.


  4. As far as I am concerned spanking and sex go together like Tracy and Hepburn and I'm glad to see it. In my own writing I feature sexual encounters between my adult characters almost as a matter of course. The feisty heroine who gets her comeuppance (in one of my stories) will likely end up in the hero's bed by the time it's done. I've never understood why the mainstream spanking media producers have shied away from this aspect. In recent years we have seen Shadowlane dip into this well. I just wish that others would follow, so bravo Pandora. Go, go!

  5. As several others have expressed, this starts from personal taste; chacun a son gout, as Michael Flanders would say.

    I think, though, that you may be right about a generational component, and a gender component.

    Our society socialises boys to despise the sexuality of other men; either as a threat, or as an indication of that dreadful sin, sodomy. Our society, particularly in recent years, has socialised women to be near-obsessed with the bodies, and sexuality, of other women; lipstick lesbianism, etc. etc. These things are pretty general.

    Within the spanking scene, though, there seems to me to be a distinct generational divide between those of us for whom the internet was a shock and those for whom it is a fact.

    This shows up in a lot of places, and there is no universality on either side of that divide, but I have definitely noticed that the 'no sex please, we're spankos' hard line tends to show up in people my age or older, and much less often in those younger.

    Where I stand here is, as always, situational. Unless it's presented very well, and deliberately problematised, I don't really want to see a schoolgirl caning end with sex; it would have to be a rape/abuse of power narrative to work without breaking immersion. I like straight-up thrashings as much as the next sadist, and many scenarios need to be non-sexualised to permit me to accept them as plausible.

    But in many, many adult scenarios, consensual or otherwise, I am left wishing they'd shot the rest of the movie.

    That's my viewer's reaction. But in part-answer to Rollin, I think I can answer one of the main reasons why most shoots can't really turn sexual.

    I've Topped, um, quite a few professional models on shoots. I've not had any bad reports so far. In general, the models I've worked with have been happy to shoot with me, and usually to shoot with me again, because they get something out of my Topping style and I'm a professional, with a reasonable attitude off-camera. Of those , and discounting Pandora, perhaps two might, maybe, have been interested in having sex with me some day. Probably not on first meeting; where that vibe has appeared, it's been after a shoot, and because of it.

    If sex automatically followed spanking in a high percentage of shoots, the number of models I could work with would be trimmed into insignificance. I have had too much fun, and made too much good film, with Amelia-Jane or Leia-Anne or Caroline Grey to want to discard the current standard model too completely.

    Yes, I would like to see more spanking/sex material; we hope to film some once Pandora has time and budget for M/F shoots again. There are other couples out there who both work in the industry and might in theory make the same decision we have. But it is unlikely to become a standard feature of the spanking porn industry (by which I mean, the houses which shoot scripted scenarios with plot and dialogue, rather than content free BDSM such as we associate with Sex & Submission or The Upper Floor) because relatively few of the professionals who work in front of the camera are polyamorous or sexually open, as we happen to be.

  6. A path also well trodden by Shadowlane, who've produced a number of such scenarios over the years, usually written by Eve Howard.

    Therein, possibly, lies a clue - sex and spanking most certainly go together in private; on film such encounters seems to work best if scripted by a woman. Consensual submission, not punitive dominance, is the key criteria. Decent production values, a plausible scenario and some chemistry between the characters become even more important than in a conventional spanking shoot.

    Pandora's 'Snip, snip' is simply sublime and sets the benchmark.


  7. I absolutely agree with what the other commenters have already said, it definitely is all a matter of personal preferences.

    If Tom is indeed right and the preference for spanking clips without vanilla sex is more common among older people, then Ludwig and I are obviously an exception from that rule. We are both much more into videos without vanilla sex. In my case the reason is that my film fantasies are usually about formal scenarios. That's why it often even irritates me when, for example, a teacher rubs the student's bottom during a spanking. It simply doesn't fit to the fantasy for me.

    That said, I liked Pandora's pictures very much! Because for me there is an exception from the "please don't mix spanking with vanilla sex in videos" rule: Scenes which are clearly marked as sexual kinky play between lovers (or actors and actresses who have a good chemistry with each other). Because in that case the sexual part fits to the scenario. I don't have to watch that kind of scenario very often but I definitely find Pandora's photo story very beautiful and aesthetic and I wouldn't mind watching a similar scene on video.