Monday, 20 October 2014

Political correctness and spanking

Oh I know, months and months with barely a whisper and then I return with, of all things, a goddamn serious post! The nerve!

Still, I think that some of this deserves to be said. Or written. And, if I'm particularly lucky, actually read. You never know. Well, you do, if you're reading this. I suppose I never know.

And then he reaches up and manages to snag the trailing edge of the topic as it floats gracefully past him.

I don't know how many of you saw the Yahoo thing about a professional basketball player who, to end an interview with a pretty blond reporter, kissed the side of her head as he exited, stage left. It was certainly inappropriate, even though I got the sense that she had interviewed him before so they weren't exactly strangers, but was it more?

The reporter reacted professionally, laughed it off and nothing more.

A writer on Yahoo wrote a scathing article claiming that it was "straight up sexual harassment".


Look, firstly, I'm not one of the knee jerk anti-political correctness brigade. PC, as a thing, exists because there were, and still are, abuses of minorities, sexual and racial. that sometimes are passed as just banter or conversation, or such like. As a white heterosexual male I'm acutely conscious that many of these excesses originate with people who look like me.

The problem with PC is that sometimes it's taken to ridiculous extremes. Like, in my opinion, it was by the Yahoo contributor. Incidentally Yahoo then reported on their own writer's article, and sought comments. At time of writing this there were 400 odd, and, on a quick skim, I didn't see a single one that supported her position.

The problem is, though, that this is how I see things. The issue is how the reporter who was kissed felt about it. If she felt demeaned or intimidated then she was certainly harassed, although to claim any discomfort is of a sexual nature seems extreme.

This brings us to the crux of the issue; sexual harassment (and the politically correct reaction to it) is ultimately in the eye of the harassee. Ugh. that's clumsy. Let me rephrase; if you feel you were sexually harassed then you  probably were. If you don't, well, you weren't.

Not every one will agree with this. For some any suggestion relating to a woman's appearance, for instance, would always be inappropriate, unless from her partner.

There's an episode of The West Wing in which White House lawyer Ainsley Hayes (played by Emily Proctor) is called back into work from a date, whilst wearing a particularly attractive dress. Her boss, Sam Seaborn (Rob Lowe), makes a comment about how good she looks, and a temporary assistant in the office takes offence. Even when Ainsley insists that it is just office banter and that, far from being offended, she was gratified that her outfit had the effect that she intended, the temp insists she is letting down her sex by accepting it.

Obviously I don't agree with this point of view, but still, whilst being a bit parochial, I can see that it is possible to receive inappropriate comments without realising what they are. 

As a male spanker, when I put a lady over my knee and spank her, am I abusing her, despite her consent?

There was a long thread on the ITC Spanking forum recently, after a gentleman advertiser offered £500 to a non-professional spankee who would take a hard caning (although not of a judicial level). This excited speculation that he was looking for an inexperienced girl, maybe short of money, who could be compelled to take an excessive punishment by her desperation. In short, that he was looking to exploit her.

This was all bollocks, of course. In the end he was defended by Tara Red, an experienced spanking professional who had referred a friend of hers to him, and whom he had treated respectfully and generously.

Some would say that he still abused her, that consent isn't the crucial issue. That the level of punishment is more important.

I'm a switch, and relatively inexperienced at taking punishment. I like a firm hand spanking that leaves me red and sore, and I adore the deep feeling of bruised muscles that tend to last a couple of days.

To some of you who love to be spanked I'm a wimp. Those of you who pay professional ladies to administer 60 or so firm strokes of the cane certainly are entitled to feel so.

Ask anyone outside of our scene and they would, I'm sure, be horrified at the idea. Surely that would be abuse? 

Most of us, it seems, are opposed to the use of corporal punishment in the raising of children, largely because of the possibilities that the system is open to abuse. I'm sure that, except in the most unusual and excessive cases, school children have never been subjected to the levels of punishment that we not only crave but often pay to receive!

So are we being abused, despite our willing acquiescence? 

Say I pay a professional spankee £125 for an hour session. We have a little role play, I put her across my knee, lift her skirt, take down her knickers and spend the next 20 minutes smacking her bottom with increasing force.

By the time I'm finished her cheeks have a healthy red glow; she is wriggling each time I spank her, and she utters the occasional gasp. When I let her up she rubs at her bottom.

Have I abused her? If I did this to my wife (who isn't really into spanking) I could certainly be convicted of wife beating.

Does the smile on her face as she hugs me preclude my actions from being abusive?

Returning, for a moment, to the beginning of this rant, I question whether the sportsman's action could be considered sexual. My mother kisses my head whenever I take my leave from her. I kiss my daughter on the forehead or hand when I wish her good night.

I can't see the act as sexual.

However, I am reminded of the various lengthy debates I have read about exactly how much of a sexual act spanking is. As a group we have no consensus on this fairly fundamental issue.

I don't think spanking is always sexual, as such; I rarely get aroused during spanking sessions, somewhat to my surprise, as watching spanking videos always gets me up and ready. When I pat my wife on her bottom I always feel a stirring, When I plan a session I certainly get sexually excited.

My wife, as a non-spanker, cannot understand that a spanking is entirely satisfactory to me of itself. I don't need it to be foreplay. I don't feel cheated if I don't get a happy ending. I really don't need it; my reaction to spanking seems, to me, to be something deeper than a sexual one.

Mind you, I have, since before I was a teenager, used spanking fantasies to become aroused.

Could be that I'm just emotionally and sexually fucked up. 

Might be it's not just me though.

My wife is aware that I occasionally session with spanking people; it's a compromise we have come to, so that she doesn't feel she needs to submit to my spanking desires. For years though she did put up with me spanking her periodically, albeit very mildly and generally as a lead up to sex. Was I abusing her?

A few years ago when I developed an interest in being spanked, mush to her discomfort, was she being abused when I pushed her to smack me?

I don't have an answer to any of this; it occurs to me that we should be careful in hurling around accusations of abuse or harassment, but equally, it's difficult to say that someone hasn't been abused unless you know exactly how they feel about what has happened.

Things were easier when I was young; I slapped a lot of bottoms, without giving a lot of thought as to whether my actions were welcomed or not. I believe they were in general, as many of the girls involved stayed good friends with me (and several invited me to take matters further) but, with the benefit of hindsight, I have done things I'm not proud of, that I would never do now.

Certainly I committed acts that would now be considered sexual harassment, at least, and quite possibly abuse.

The thing is, while I don't like political correctness when taken too far, it's hard to argue that things aren't better for young women now than they were 35 years ago. I have a 16 year old daughter, and I sleep easier for knowing that, in some areas, she won't have to worry about things we took for granted.

Humans, it seems to me, are designed to overreact. Extremes don't force us to become moderate; they shove us, pendulum like, to the far end of our tether. We've always been this way, and I see no signs of our changing in the near future.

Of course it can be argued that these extremes have produced some of out greatest achievements. From the horrors of the Second World War, the ultimate example of man's inhumanity, came the creation here in Britain, of the Welfare State and the National Health Service, my country's finest attempt to support those in society who are struggling, to ensure that no one is left behind.

So, no conclusions, but a lot of questions. Any thoughts?

I'll try not to leave so long next time.

All the best


Tuesday, 10 June 2014

The wonderful Danielle Hunt - SPONSORED WALK

Does it smell a little musty to you? A slight air of disuse and abandonment? Yeah, it has been a while, hasn't it?

I must do something about that.

Well, no time like the present, eh? (Quick shout out to any stereotypical Canadian readers out there - I know you don't really say eh a lot. Well, only those of you who are hard of hearing, and a little impolite. There's such a word as "Pardon?").

So then. You all know of my delightful friend Danielle - spanking superstar and world traveller. And a thoroughly good egg with a nicely spankable bottom.

Dani is undertaking a 20km walk to raise money for a motor neuron disease charity, which is a tremendously good cause, and dear to her heart.

Please click on the link below, and, if at all possible, do your bit to help her, and, by association, all sufferers from this horrible illness.

Please go to Spank Danielle Charity Sponsorship and, at the very least, read what she has to say.

As an incentive I've sprinkled a few pistures of Dani around here (borrowed from her blog), and there are lots more on her blog, so hurry on across. Please.

And that's it for now, but, y'know, I quite enjoyed this. I think it might be time to make this blog active once more.

Look for lots of spanky goodness soon.

But first, please have a look at what Dani has to say.

Thanks for your time, attention, and patience.

All the best


Sunday, 2 March 2014

Sunday morning video madness

So, a very quick slightly silly post for you; there's this awful film "Max Hell Frog Warrior"", you see, and it's so bad that I can't bring myself to watch the whole thing.

However it has one saving grace, in that it has two very gentle spanking scenes right at the end; I've managed to convince my aging PC to capture these two scenes, although not with any actual sound sadly (although the dialogue is pretty shitty anyway) and I present them here for your Sunday spanking pleasure.

I hope this works; it's a bit beyond my usual technical level.

First this one:-


And then this one:-


So, all being well, you'll enjoy these brief silly scenes.

Signing off as I have real things to do.

All the best


Friday, 21 February 2014

Some thoughts about professionals

No, no! Not "The Professionals". Whilst I like old tv shows my taste is more towards old Doctor Who (I like new Doctor Who as well) than this macho rubbish.

My wife still lusts after Martin Shaw though.

Anyway, back to the point. Or, actually, let's charge towards the point for the first time in this blog post, shall we? Just for novelty value, like.

I read a few message boards, and, as previosuly mentioned, one is ITC Spanking. 3 recent posts on there got me thinking.

Firstly there was a thread about pure disciplinary sessions, in which one pro spanker opined that she specifically offered 30 minute sessions, to cater for this.

Then there was a post from a new dom, saying she had taken 12 bookings in her first week, and they were all time wasters.

Finally I noticed an advert (that I think was taken down by the moderators) headed "Spank and Wank" and offering 30 minute spanking sessions, with a "happy ending", for £50. Or 60 minute ones for £80. And offered them on the day.

Now, I'm going to make a few assumptions. If you know that any of these are wrong please let me know, I won't change this post, but I will gratefully acknowledge your input. I genuinely would be interested to know.

1. Most professionals do not work from home, especially spankees

2. Professionals get less guys not turning up when their bookings are with repeat clients

3. Most professional spankees will only see one client per day.

4. Few spankees make their actual living from being spanked; it's usually a sideline, bringing in a bit extra.

In my experience, most spankees charge around £110 to £150 per hour (partly dependent on the area in which they are based). Most offer a small discount for anything over an hour. Venue hire is generally on top of this.

I can entirely understand the high cost of the first hour; the pro often has to travel to the venue, and therefore any appointment uses up at least half a day. They have the cost of implements and costumes. And, you know, they get their bottoms beaten, often by men they've never met before.

I don't know how many clients prefer longer sessions. My first time was an hour, but, since I have discovered the joys of role play, I have only had 90 or 120 minute sessions.

I would have thought that, if my assumptions are correct, there is a real benefit to the pro spankee in extending session times (provided their bottoms are up to it!). You are already on location, you have a guaranteed client (well, duh) and if you only make half as much (for instance) for a second hour, it has cost you very little in terms of time in comparision with the first one, and it's still money you wouldn't get if the client only books one hour.

I think that this is especially true for switches, because the variety tends to lend itself to a longer session, and for ladies who genuinely enjoy spanking or being spanked. After all, if you're having fun and getting paid, why not?

There is clearly a benefit to the professional in increasing the likelyhood of the client turning up. This likelyhood increases dramtically with repeat business. Logically then it would make sense for professionals to offer discounts for regulars. And I'd define a regular as anyone you see more than twice.

If you work from home, or see multiple clients in a day (as a number of mistresses seem to) the arguments break down a bit although because they can work more frequently some tops (although by no means all) offer lower rates anyway.

My favourite is a lady in Brownhills who offers a flat rate, based on 2 sessions a day, where she spanks the client for as long as he needs it. Or can take it, I guess. She's been around for a while, has a stable of regulars and so doesn't need to advertise, and offers very low cost sessions from her home.

I like to see ladies who switch. I've tried a pure top once, and while it was okay, I didn't really get everything that I wanted from the session. I did talk to a lady who is a pure bottom, but ultimatly I like to experience both sides of the equation, so I will generally stick to switches.

However, despite all that, I think that advert I mentioned above is a great idea. Not the wanking part particularly, but just the short session booked at short notice. If I could phone up and arrange a short spanking session for today, at a reasonable cost, I'd be tempted. 30 minutes over a ladies knee, ending with a sore bottom would, on some days, be my idea of a fun time.

The lady in question was in London (I think), and clearly worked from home, This wouldn't be practical at a hired venue, for all of the obvious reasons.

So there you have it, I guess. Why don't ladies offer a much cheaper rate for second hours, and why don't they offer discounts for repeat customers?

I may be missing the point (or a point, or some points) but this seems a very reasonable idea to me. Of course, I might just be trying to get cheaper sessions for myself!

Please let me know your thoughts.

All the best


Pictures this time are from Triple AAA spanking; lovely site which I reviewed a couple of years ago, and run by the Chief, genuinely one of the nicest guys around the scene. Hi John, if you're reading this. And the pictures are from video captures; there are much clearer ones on the site itself

Friday, 14 February 2014

So guess what? Some spankos are shitheads!

All right. I may be hopelessly naive, but I always though that most of us involved in this thing we do were above average in the intelligence and pleasantness categories.

I've been floating around the spanking world for a good few years, and everyone that I've dealt with has been polite and helpful. That's certainly not been the case in several other spheres of life that I interact with.

At one stage when I did interviews I used to ask is this had been the experience of my interviewee, and generally it had been.

All of which leads me to the message boards at ITC Spanking.

I've lurked here for a couple of years, primarily because of the advert section for professional spankees and spankers. Now and then I'd have a glance at the messageboards, and, on a couple of occasions, I started threads to ask questions, and the responses I got were all pleasant and on point.

I have observed a ribbon of nastiness that runs through some posts, particularly from some specific members.

The other day one of these "gentlemen" started a thread to attack Danielle Hunt. He alleged that the photo with her recent advert was of someone else, as the model was too thin. Someone else agreed, alleging the use of photoshop, and a third made a comment about pictures being doctored in order to entice people into imaginary sex.

All of the posts were nasty in tone; there was nothing jovial about them, and, so far as I can see, they were basically unprovoked. I know that Dani did get involved in an argument about the degree to which spanking can be considered a sexual service, and, in the course of it, she made a major factual mistake, but she owned up to it when it was highlighted. None of this seems to be a reasonable basis for personal attacks.

I don't usually get drawn into this purile type of shit flinging, but the thread just pissed me off. I posted a brief note that I had recently met Dani, and found her better looking in person than her pictures anyway. Further I said that the other posters seemed too bitter; had they sessioned with her, propositioned her, and been turned down on the grounds that they were self obsessed assholes?

Yes, I sank to their level.

Mick and Jan, the moderators and board owners, quite rightly deleted the thread overnight; I don't know if any of the other posters responded to my crude attempt to offend or not. I don't really care.

The thing is, we often refer to ourselves as a community, and that suggests inclusion, We're all in this thing together; why would you go out of your way to attack someone for the Hell of it?

Unless you're a little shit with low self esteem, I suppose. Oops, there I go again.

So I guess I'm not much better. My motives may have been purer, wanting to defend a friend, but I could have just reported the thread, instead of adding to the hatefulness.

At the time it was satisfying, and I can't say I entirely regret it, but I'm not sure it's how I would handle the same situation again.

Ah well.

Not a very appropriate Valentine's Day sentiment is it?

On which note, a heppy February 14th to you all out there in spanking land; and may your palms and bottoms feel whatever sensations they require!

All the best


Pictures are of Dani (yes, they really are) and are taken by my friend Roy, from the Topcat Club in Cradley Heath.

Monday, 10 February 2014

I've got a theory...

It could be bunnies. No! What? Shut up! (Just a shout out to all of you who still count yoursleves fans of Buffy).

I really do have a theory though. Or at least the elusive slip of an idea.

We've been watching Doctor Who DVD's; just catching up on the last 2 or 3 seasons (or series, I suppose, as it's a British show, and that's more our terminology).

I've just realised that there are three spanking references in the last couple of series; is Steven Moffat a secret spanko?

The first one if in the extras on season 6; there are 4 specially filmed "Night and the Doctor" inserts, which start off fluffy and light, but buld into something more sinister and serious. In (I think) the third of these the Doctor and River (his kind of wife, if you don't watch the show, played by the marvellous Alex Kingston) are arguing; she yells at him

"So what are you going to do? Spank me?" There is a mischievious glint in her eye, as she says this. The Doctor, turning away, starts to reply:-

"That's not..." before he is interrupted. "A bad idea". Might have been.

Then there is the season 7 episode "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship". For no very good reason Queen Neffertiti and the big gsme hunter Riddell (from Britain in colonial days) accompany our hero as he ends up on a huge spaceship approaching the Earth. The Queen and Riddell are clearly attracted to each other, and flirt entertainingly. At one stage Riddell threatens to "put you over my knee and spank you". to which she spits back a threat herself.

And finally, in the relatively recent "Time and the Doctor" the man himseld lands a smack on the very cute bottom of his assistant, Clara.

We have a new doctor now, the older and much more stern looking Peter Capaldi. Moffat has said that, initially at least, the relationship between the Doctor and his assistant will be adversorial. What do you think the chances are that he will spank her?


Lovely idea.

Utter bollocks of course.

Unless it happens, in which case, remember that you saw it here first. Well, you know, read about it, at least.

All the best


Pictures are unselfishly provided by the lovely Firm Hand Spanking purely because I'm a member there at the moment. Please enjoy and check them out.

What's that/? Why no pictures of Doctor Who? Well. 'cos I like spanking, and girls. And it's my blog.

Monday, 27 January 2014

Well satisfied but not sitting comfortably

Just a quick love letter to Spanking Land today as I'm quite busy, but I needed to take a couple of minutes to let you know how my session with Cherri went.

Let me sum it up for you in a single word - wonderful!

She is a lovely lady (both physically and in her character) and the best role player that I've sessioned with. I sent her three costume requests and 6 scenarios (3 top, 3 bottom) and she followed them all brilliantly. Her outfits were stunning (especially the jodphurs!) and I loved the way she swept from one scenario to the next.

We laughed a lot, and spanked very soundly; she's quite a petite lady but with a very solid swing and a very sharp smacking hand. Oh, and a gorgeous round bottom that grows pink delightfully.

She has a day job and spanking is her hobby; the time she takes for herself, so she throws herself into the session with a palpable joy.

I had a brilliant time, and I'll provide more details in a day or two.

All the best