Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Well of course it hurts! Or, are all spankers sadists?

So, back again eh? Yesterday wasn't just a flash in the pan. Or any type of flashing really, as my long coat with the holes cut in the pockets is still in storage.

Too much information? Tough shit. This is my blog and I'll gross you out if I want to. Or maybe even by accident on occasion.

So, where was I? Sitting on the bed with my cat, but that's not important right now.

Back to the point. I was reading the British Spanking Community forum the other day, and there was a somewhat heartbreaking post from a vanilla young lady who was in a relationship with a spanko. She let him spank her, but was entirely uncomfortable about the whole thing. She asked for advice.

A portion of the discussion that followed very sensibly revolved around the aspect of being spanked that disturbed her. It turned out that it wasn't the pain of being spanked but rather the embarrassment at the rituals of spanking, and the role play that her partner insisted on.

On the Consensual Spanking there is a heart felt letter from a male spankee, who has struggled to get his wife to spank him (an issue I can entirely sympathise with) and one of the issues is the level of pain she is comfortable inflicting on him.

Now, and this may shock any vanilla readers out there, it seems to me that most spankings don't really hurt. I know we've all seen Kiss Me Kate, where even in the most extreme versions Miss Vanessi gets at most a couple of dozen spanks, and then finds she can't sit comfortably for hours, but, generally, an adult spanking with the palm of the hand does not generate a lot of lasting discomfort.

This is not the case with an adult beating a child, where the difference in mass can lead to real suffering. This is just one of the reasons why I'm opposed to disciplinary corporal punishment for kids. Plus, you know, it weirds me out; spanking always has a sexual element for me, and, even lacking that it's a lot of fun in other ways too, and it just seems wrong as punishment.

There's enough bullying in life without adding a physical element at out most vulnerable stage.

A little clarification; I'm not disputing that a long firm spanking on a bare bottom causes a lovely red glow, genuine heat, tingling and even some soreness, but it soon fades. It's hard to see it as punishment.

When I spank I love to get a reaction; I love to see the silky cheeks of my victim change colour. I like it when I hear the odd involuntary gasp, when the feet kick sharply upwards at a particularly well placed smack, when the young lady feels a need to rub her bottom after I've finished (and all of my spankees are young ladies, irrespective of their age).

I love all of this, but my experience would in no way be better if my partner was writhing in agony, or slumped to the floor in floods of tears. I don't want her bottom battered and bruised, or, worst still, bleeding. I want to know that she felt it, but not that it left her gasping in pain.

I may be different here to some of you; I suppose that, if you're in a domestic discipline relationship, then the point of spanking is to punish, and therefore inflicting pain is a primary requirement. This isn't me however; I'm in the spanking experience for the fun of it.

Hurting someone, even when they might be getting off on it, isn't fun to me.

One small clarification; I'm not attacking those for whom pain is a vitally important part of the process. Provided both parties consent freely to the act then it's all fine with me; a lot of vanilla people would consider me spanking interest to be perverted, so I won't shun anyone else whose interests might be different from mine.

The thing is, I love spanking. I also like being spanked. I am not, I think, either a sadist or a masochist, although that is how spankos are viewed, by and large. We are seen as being a bit odd.

I've always liked odd myself.

There's a view around the scene that spanking, practised as an erotic technique, is becoming more mainstream, more socially acceptable. I think that's true, and, while I suppose I should welcome anything that  makes it easier to practice my favourite kink, I'm still a bit sad at the prospect.

One thing about being an outsider is that you tend to relate to your fellow hoodlums: you are bound by the bond of common interests. I know that I consider all of you out there in Spankiland as my countrymen, irrespective of where you come from. You are my peeps (fuck, I hate that phrase). You are my buddies, my colleagues in sexual unorthodoxy, my lust objects (in some cases).

I've wandered from my point a bit. I do that you know.

Oh yeah. You do know.

Thanks for coming back. Good things will follow, I promise.

All the best


All pictures shamelessly borrowed from Spanking Veronica Works, (except for the one that I added by accident, which is from Richard Windsor's spanking blog) of which hopefully I will tell you more shortly

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