Thursday, 12 July 2012

That little bastard green eyed monster

Starting off with (an almost) quote from the Immortal Bard; well, he was the first person to refer to jealousy as a green eyed monster.

If he actually wrote his plays of course.

"Tim", I hear you say, "what reasons could you possibly find to be jealous of anyone? Life is grand, isn't it, from where you sit?"

And life actually is pretty spiffy at the minute.

With one fucking big problem.

I woke up this morning with an almost physical desire to spank someone. It's sitting there now, deep inside my chest, cackling away to itself as it grabs bits of my insides and twists them into improbable pretzel shapes. I ache to feel my palm slapping down onto a lovely backside.

And by lovely I mean any female one I could get at.

Which brings me to the jealousy thing.

I am spitting mad with jealousy of all of you out there who live in a spanking relationship. Who can turn to your partner and say "Hey, I really want some spanking action. Come here." or something else similar. Perhaps a bit more subtle. Or erotic. Or begging may be involved. Or imagined faults. Whatever.

Fuck. None of these thoughts are helping me. In fact they have the opposite effect. I want to spank some more.

I've tried watching a few videos; a couple of Pandora's,. a handful of Sarah's, two from Northern Spanking featuring Leia-ann. And yes, they aroused me. Oh, own up Tim! Yes, I had a wank. I thoroughly enjoyed it too.

Didn't take away that tightness in my groin though. Didn't silence the gremlin in my chest, which bounces around the walls of my torso, chanting, in an evil little Exorcist voice. "Spank, spank, spank, spank." Imagine the Spam song, altered just a little bit.

My wife is at work, and, even if she wasn't, we only spank as foreplay. My son is around, so sex wouldn't be an option either.
I love this picture; doesn't Amy Hunter look fierce? And gorgeous.

"Not tonight, Josephine" Please add your own stereotypical French accent.

I just want someone to spank.

And some of you lucky bastards out there have someone.

I shall now sob quietly into my coffee - it's a bit too early in the day for beer.

All the best

(Unless you have someone handy to spank - in which case, well, sod you.)

Tim

Pictures are from my good friends at Northern Spanking


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