I suppose it should have been obvious from the very beginning; when I played spanking games as a child I only gave half dozen or so spanks each time.
I went through my school years terrified I'd be spanked, slippered or caned (in those unenlightened years before physical institutionalised bullying was outlawed).
When I got my first PC at the beginning of the nineties and first discovered the spanking internet I only looked for mainstream spanking material; tame, over clothes and often in black and white.
After a few years I became a little bolder, and joined my first spanking paysite. It was Spanking over Skirts. and it's blend of very mild spankings usually over clothed bottoms was a huge turn on for me, at the time. Not that I would recommend it now.
Then I took a tumble, falling over my own tiptoeing feet. I joined Girls Boarding School, the home of brutal abusive corporal punishment, usually inflicted by heavy handed Germans who seemed to treat the girls they beat with utter contempt.
Chastened by the experience I retreated to safer shores.
I actually got to the point where I watched videos only until the point where the pants came down; I didn't care for bare bottomed spankings at all. They looked far too painful!
And as for implements? Shudder. Quite liked the slipper and, oddly, the wooden paddle when applied over jeans (probably as I couldn't see the considerable damage that it was doing), but nothing else. Especially not the cane, which horrified me.
As an adult, for many years the only bottom that I had spanked was my wife's, and, as she isn't really a spanko, these spankings were always mild. When I suddenly decided that I wanted her to spank me the result was fairly similar,
Over the years I had seen a wider range of spanking films, and my tolerance levels had increased, a bit, but I still became a little freaked at glowing red bottoms, and the very suggestion of bruises or other marks.
I didn't think that there was anything wrong with this. I was not yet ready to admit that I had a problem; mild spankings were great, and I could give them up anytime that I liked.
Then I had a breakthrough, with the help of a lovely lady called Winks. If you venture back in my archive you'll find a two-part, rather detailed account of our meeting, but the two most important parts were these:-
1. When I whacked away at her bottom, for the very first time, she told me that I could smack harder than that if I liked. But her bottom was already starting to go red!
2. After she turned the tables on me she suggested that I examine my bottom in the mirror. It was glowing a fiery red, and it was sore but not hugely, and I was having a good time!
I had an epiphany. A bright red bare and well smacked bottom does not mean that the recipient is in agony. Bottoms go red very easily. And spanking models exaggerate the discomfort that they are in (take a look at any of the Wellspanked clips on Spanking Tube - lovely films with attractive girls but they start crying as soon as the first couple of smacks fall).
So then, I was able to confess it - I am a spanking wimp.
There were steps I could take to help cure me of this dreadful affliction. Not twelve steps, admittedly, but a handful.
1. Rewatch spanking videos with a more realistic eye.
2. Try to play with professionals more, and spank harder. See how they react; even talk to them about how it feels (and ignore them when they tell you that no one has ever spanked them harder - that'll be crap)
3. Try to play with professionals more, and get them to push your limits when you get spanked. It helps if you session with one person a few times (Hi Cherri) as they will learn what you can take, and then push on gradually from there.
4. Just relax and enjoy; when playing if you go too hard your partner will tell you.
5. Don't try to spank your partner's bottom up through their spine; start mildly, maybe with a cupped hand, and build.
6. Never underestimate the benefits of a warm up spanking.
So each time I play I try to bear all of this in mind; I spank harder now (over a period of time), and I take a far harder spanking with enjoyment.
Am I cured? No, I'll always be a spanking wimp. I put Dani Hunt over my knee and slippered her, only for her to ask that I gave her a slippering. I was so gentle she thought that I'd used my hand!
I'm never going to be a hugely hard spanker; Dallas can rest easy with no fear of my competition.
When I watch videos I do now enjoy it when I see what I judge to be genuine reaction; I like to see a bottom go gradually red, and I love it when a spankee leaps to her feet and clutches her bottom.
I even quite liking seeing the odd caning, provided it's not too hard. While I like seeing ladies spanking men, I hate to see them caning, as the beatings are still way to violent for my taste. When I see femdom stuff I often imagine I'm the one being spanked, and, while I have taken the odd six of the best or so, I have no interest in the level of pain a severe thrashing would generate.
|This is not my idea of fun (although Cassie Hunter is gorgeous)|
I've commented on this before; when I read on the forums of guys paying for 60 or 80 or 100 or more strokes of the cane I take my hat off to them. If it's your thing then good luck to you.
I'm a wimp at heart. I'll stick to 10 minutes or so across a fetching lap, with my bottom growing red and just a little bruised under the hand of a kindred soul.
I suppose that in some ways I am exactly the type of client a professional switch wants; I still don't spank too hard, I'm imaginative in role plays (now that I've done a few more) and I don't want my partner to exhaust themselves on my bottom. And, unless I get a nose bleed from excitement, there won't be any blood to clean up (I should just say that I don't get nose bleeds - this line is purely for dramatic effect. And now I've ruined it entirely).
Is any of this familiar to you? Do you cower in terror at the lashings some pros feel they have to give. When the spankee over your knee cries "harder" do you whine "but my hand hurts"?
If so we have the answer. SWA. Spanking Wimps Anonymous. No government affiliation, and there's bound to be a meeting near you. Call our toll free number for details.
You know what I want right now? A really good spanking. Still, there's a meeting this afternoon - I'll be alright.
All the best
PS pictures are from Cassie Canes, the Institute of Discipline and Punished Brats, and have no immediate relevance to this post, except that I quite liked them (and you can't have too much of Leia)