If I were to stay true to the delightful hyperbole of the original Swiftian inspiration for this title (as I recall, his essay suggested that the poor sell their children to the rich to serve as food), I would need to find some amusing and satirical spanking premise to detail.
Sadly that's a bit beyond my level of wit (although in truth Swift's sense of humour often sank to the scatalogical - he wasn't a terribly subtle writer).
Anyway it occurred to me that in a recent post I commented that I wouldn't be able to pay for a session for a while. This is true; sadly our finances have taken something of a hit in the last few months, and I haven't been in formal employment for 4 years now.
So, here I am with a forum to say what I like, and I've had 190000 page views in the last 14 months (despite several fallow periods); why not throw myself on the mercy of my readers?
In short then, here it is.
If there are any women in the West Midlands (of the UK, that is), who are reading this and would be interested in a spanking session (giving, receiving or switching) please drop me a line. I can't accomodate but I'd be happy to travel, and I'd fit in with any requirements that you might have.
A couple of words of warning; I'm nearly 50 years old, balding and much fatter than is healthy. On the plus side, I'm quite a nice person, and I can talk about almost anything (well, not X-Factor, unless you mean the old Marvel comic). I also spank pretty well, and can take a fair bit too.
If there are any pro-subs/dommes/switches who want to take pity on me and offer extremely cheap rates I might be able to swing that too. Although I find this an iffier offer, as I appreciate it would affect your profession. Still, if you have a spare slot and just would like to fill it.....
In the unlikely event that anyone is up for this I'd like to blog about the experience, but the level of detail I use would be entirely up to my partner. Could be decent advertising though. You never know.
I admit to having stunningly low expectations of this, but, hey, people post on spanking forums all the time looking for partners, so I can't see that I lose anything by this. Other than your respect. What's that? I never had your respect? Fair enough.
I hope to hear from some of you (you know, I don't have a clue if anyone in the West Midlands actually reads this blog. Ah well.) One of you would be a very decent start.
All the best
Pictures this time are taken from the splendidly entertaining Good Spanking Classics