Sunday, 30 December 2012
Sometimes a session just doesn't work.
Early in the year I detailed at some length my very first session, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I'm not sure how much most readers got from it, but I did receive two emails from longtime spankers who were inspired by it to book their own first sessions, both of which gave them a great deal of pleasure.
This, naturally enough, gave me a very warm feeling inside (no, not acid indigestion - I can get that from stilton and port, without trying, thank you very much).
I recently (well, a month or so ago) had the first disappointing session of my spanking career; I'm sure that others have had similar experiences and I thought that talking about it might ensure that one poor experience does not put anyone off for good.
Also, I must stress that the experience was disappointing. It wasn't a disaster. It just wasn't quite what I'd hoped for.
A little background. I'd talked to a switch who appears on Spankee Finder about the possibility of a session, to be arranged about 6 weeks in advance. The lady in question is about my age (which I prefer when switching), she looked nice in the photos, she used a domestic setting (which intrigued me), and she was a little cheaper than some people I had contacted. Let's call her Wynona.
We arranged a 90 minute session, with both mature aunt/wayward housewife and naughty/strict school nurse role plays being discussed. In the view of the length of the session I felt a change of costume would be fine.
Unfortunately I had to cancel the appointment at a few days notice, as I managed to injure my wrist quite painfully.
Wynona was fine about this, and we rebooked for three weeks later; she emailed to check if the nurse thing was still required (which she felt was appropriate in view of my injury) and we arranged to speak at the telephone to confirm. We spoke a week ahead of the session, and she seemed very down to earth.
On the day of the session I travelled to the town where it was to be held, arriving early as ever. I had a coffee, let Wynona know that I was nearby and got a taxi to the address, a neat little terraced house in the middle of a quiet street. I knocked, the door opened, and Wynona let me in.
At which stage things went a bit wrong.
Firstly, there was no problem with Wynona's physical appearance; she had a very trim figure, that stuck out in the right places, and looked at least 10 years younger than her stated age. She had nice long legs, and a pleasant friendly face.
She was wearing the nurse's uniform. First problem. It was an Ann Summers sexy nurse outfit. She filled it very attractively, but I had, from our correspondence, expected something more traditional and realistic. For me the nurse role play was already blown.
I am inexperienced at role plays, and, when I mentioned this in an email, Wynona suggested in a very take charge manner that she would guide me through it. Sadly, in person, she was much more tentative, really a natural bottom. In fairness to her, that is how she advertises; she only offered to switch when I asked if she did that.
For all that I love to spank I'm not really a natural dominant, and sessioning is still new enough to me that I find it difficult to take charge, but this was clearly what Wynona expected me to do. I began by putting her over my knee on the settee, and spanking her for around 10 minutes or so.
At my request we switched places, but she never took charge when spanking me, only taking down my trousers and pants when I specifically asked her to, despite the fact that I had bared her when I felt it was the time.
She had a bag of implements, which we went through. There was a rubber soled slipper that was too light to feel even on bare flesh. There was a wooden backed paddle-like hairbrush, which she would only take a handful of smacks from. There was a whippy cane, but only to be used on others.
There was a leather paddle I liked a lot, and a flogger which felt nice. The crop gave a decent sting too.
We spent the entire session just alternating straight spanking, and chatting. I've spent time far less enjoyably, of course, but, after 3 months or so of anticipation, it wasn't quite what I expected either.
I did enjoy the crop, and I also got 12 swishy strokes with the cane across my underpants. I'd never had that before, and the fairly gentle application was just right. Certainly it's something I'd like to explore again, but another time I'd also like to apply it.
We finished out the 90 minutes, chatting pleasantly enough. Wynona is a nice lady, but she just wasn't what I was looking for.
So, what went wrong, exactly?
Firstly, I need to use a bit more care selecting my partner. I do need someone with experience (Wynona has only been doing this for around 18 months), and, more to the point, I need someone who is prepared to be a bit more assertive when it comes to switching.
Secondly, I need to be more specific about the role play element of my session. I must check the type of costume being planned (one lady offered me a choice of 4 different school girl uniforms, from exaggeratedly sexy to formal and accurate). I think role plays must rely on as much authenticity as possible, so the clothes worn are important.
Thirdly, I must manage my expectations. After waiting three months, with one session cancelled because a model injured herself, and another cancelled because I was hurt, I think I expected too much. It's possible that I would have been disappointed however good this one had been.
Finally, I think I prefer to spank someone who reacts to what's happening; I never got Wynona to make a sound, and her bottom barely changed colour, despite my best efforts. I don't want the exaggerated crying at first touch thing you see in some videos, but I would like at least a little uneasy shifting, and the occasional gasp.
Still, despite all of my caveats, I still got to do a lot of spanking, and I experienced a couple of things I hadn't previously, so that's good.
I'm not sure when I will be in a position to pay for a session again, as our costs have recently increased a fair bit but, whenever it is, I'll think more carefully before I book it.
All the best
All pictures have been shamelessly borrowed from various tumblr blogs, who probably knicked them in the first place. If anyone wants any of these removed or accredited I'll happily do so.