It's oh so much like an old abandoned attic.
You tentatively make your way up the ladder; the steps creak beneath your weight, sending a shiver of impending destruction skittering down your spine. You shiver, deliciously.
Stretching, you push against the loft hatch. It's hinges creak in reluctant protest, and briefly fight back. You shove again, and it swings noisily upwards. It's open maw greets you with the fetid breath of neglect, and a tentative tongue of dust pokes out cheekily.
You climb into the opening, and the beam of your torch fires sword strokes that slash at the dark, as you search for the light switch. A click, and dusk blooms across the alien landscape. At the corner of your vision something dives for cover, something furry and unwelcome.
You gulp, mouth dry, and it strikes you.
You really don't want to be here.
And, for a while, that was how I came to feel about this blog.
My life has been in a state of constant change; I've had health, family and financial issues, as we struggled with moving house, the kids school and the death of my mother-in-law (no, none of the standard jokes here - she was a lovely lady and I miss her rather more than I ever expected).
Anyway, we move on. New house in Walsall. Daughter doing stunningly well at school. Wife settled and feeling happier. And many of our financial constraints removed now we have bought the new house.
Still, I wasn't sure I'd come back. Too much time had passed and it felt like starting again.
Unfortunately I find that I still feel a sense of responsibility in relation to my blog. Which is totally fucking nuts, right? Blogs, by their very nature, are produced for the pleasure of the writer. They are a forum where he can broadcast his views, however unwelcome to the Universe they may be, and not give a shit.
The problem is that, after a while, you start to pick up readers. Loyal readers, who hang around and watch for each post. Loyal readers who care when you don't write, and mix their regular fix. Loyal readers who sometimes leave comments.
And you come to cherish them. Bastards! Making me want to write this crap.
Of course, I'm an opinionated sod too. Just 'cos I haven't been posting doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking. Some of these thoughts might interest you. Or not, but that's the risk the reader always takes, especially with an unedited forum such as this.
My personal changes have made sessioning feasible again. I have one arranged with the divine Miss Danieele on Friday. It's something I've been threatening for more than a year now, and I told her that I'd write about my experiences and run an interview with her. Need a blog for that.
I was looking on Spankeefinder this morning; I have another session arranged in a couple of weeks time and I'm thinking of going for the hatrick in February, so I'm considering candidates (I've reached out to a couple). I was reading Nimue Allen's page, and I clicked onto her Nimue's World blog. There, next to the blogs of several scene people that I adore, she listed this little enterprise as one she read.
I know a number of professional writers, and, oddly, they say that they are often surprised when someone comes up to them and announces that they have read their book, and liked it. It never occurs to them that anyone else will like what they do.
I might be a bit like that.
So here's the deal.
New dawn of Tim the Tum's Spanking Good Time.
All promises kept (unless I really don't want to).
Less requests to website owners for free membership in return for reviews (although if you're reading this and want to offer...)
No suggestions to spanking models that they might want to offer me a free session in exchange for publicity (although if you're reading this and want to offer....) PLEASE NOTE:- the management (me, that is) would like to point out that I have never, at any point, done this, and would never do it. I won't even bother with the weak "If you want to offer.." joke at this point
No swearing - like that's going to fucking happen!
Ah, you know what? Read the new blog, same as the old blog. Pretty much.
Hope you enjoyed your visit. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell everyone you meet walking down the street. Put up a fucking billboard if you want.
Tim the Tum's Spanking Good Time is back and open for business. Oh, and lots and lots of spanking pleasure.
All the best
Site reviews of all of the Clare Fonda stable and the Institute of Discipline
Location report on spanking Danielle Hunt
Location report on being spanked by Danielle Hunt
Interviews, polls and, oh yes, some of them photo things.
Which brings me to:- all photos here today were borrowed from the Institute of Discipline, and are used solely to promote their products. And maybe to turn you on bit. But never mind - you can always rub it better!