Tuesday, 16 October 2012

The wonderful world of wanking

Firm Hand Spanking
Ooh! Can I get away with calling a post that? Is it just a little too risque, or just too damn crude? What do you think? Should I edit it back to something more subtle?

How about "Terrific Tales of Todger Tugging"? No? "Personal pleas for penis-driven pleasure"? Not that one either, eh? Something less obvious? "Self-induced Stiffies"? "Onanism and me"?

Ah fuck it. Let's stick with crude. This ain't one for the kiddies, guys.

I've hinted around this subject before. Oh, let's be honest. I've done more than hinted.

Spanking is a sexual pleasure. I get turned on spanking, watching others spank, reading about spankings, listening to spanking noises and being spanked, Oh, and anticipating all of the above.

I'm sure that you can spot the common thread here. I'll point it out, just in case. It's spanking. Yes, really, no joking. I'm turned on by spanking.
Triple AAA Spanking

I don't think it's too much of a stretch to suppose that, unless you've ended up here following some obscure trail on an iffy search engine, you are turned on by spanking as well.

Now, I'm sure you're all aware of the physiological and psychological changes that result from arousal. There's a very complete analysis of them on Wikipedia, should you feel a desperate urge to ensure that you're not missing out on any of them.

Are you back now? Sitting comfortably? Apart from the odd guilty look over your shoulder, of course.

Then I'll get on with it.
Firm Hand Spanking

As a man, one of the primary physical effects of arousal is that my penis becomes erect. One of the primary psychological effects is that I want to ejaculate.

Everyone still with me? Good. That's the science bit over with.

The two effects mentioned above often converge; that is, I have a wank.

Now, I have two primary sources of spanking stimulation. One is physical interaction with my wife, and this tends to lead to sex, rather than masturbation. Although sometimes a little mutual manipulation can be fun (I bought my wife her first vibrator for her recent birthday (and yes, we are sexually repressed over here, in my generation) and we've enjoyed experimenting with it quite a lot).

The other source is the internet, and, more particularly, spanking videos. I have collected in excess of 2000 of these (and I don't for a minute think that represents any kind of record); there's something there for every occasion, and I vary the sets that I investigate quite frequently. They're on a couple of external hard drives, so, I plug and play, and then play. Chuckle.
Abby's Spanking

20 minutes or so of spanking fun generally leads to a bit of stiffy-spurting. We go through a lot of kitchen roll, and it's just about the only paper product that we don't recycle. For obvious reasons. (I certainly wouldn't want the job of collecting it!).

All this is well and good, and happens in the privacy of my own home.

Matters become more complicated when we move beyond my domestic environment. And, ehw, no, I'm not wandering the streets looking for arousing opportunities.
Spanked in Uniform

I missed out a third source of spanking fun that I've utilised a handful of times (wait, is that an inappropriate pun? Whoops!); professional switches.

Most of these tend to advertise themselves as spankees, over here in the UK, but very few aren't willing to switch and hand out a good spanking, if asked politely.

Anyway, sessions equal spanking, and spanking equals my pal Leopold rearing his (somewhat) ugly head; oh, and don't ask about the name, which my wife gave it after a gun in an Agatha Christie story early in our relationship - I'll just say that it was a repeater, and leave it at that.

I know that things are different with escorts, but spankees all advertise that no sexual services are provided, which is entirely fine. I'm not looking for sex (I have a wife that I love for that), just some fun spanking.

However, at the end of a session, sometimes I'd quite like to clear out my tubes; I'm okay with sitting on a sore bottom, and nursing a worn out palm, but I'd like to feel comfortable in the front of my trousers, at least.
Dreams of Spanking

Most switches are not happy for you to do this; I don't mean actually in front of them either. All of the places I've sessioned at have bathrooms; it wouldn't take me five minutes after an hour of spanking to satisfy that urge.
Northern Spanking

I was looking through the entries on Spankeefinder the other day (and I do recommend that as a pleasant way to pass a quiet hour or so), and I came across a lovely looking and fun sounding switch based in Manchester. Now, this is pretty much outside of my geographical range, especially as I can find a wide variety of ladies much closer to home, but still I like to imagine.

She has a really nice website, and lots of information about what she provides and expects. One of these is that you will not self-relieve on her premises. Fair enough. Her house, and all that. The reason given though struck me as odd.

This is a quote:-

"Nor do I accept masturbation on my premises and I will be nothing short of insulted if asked. Would you ask your Head Mistress that? Exactly."

Punished Brats
I'll leave that one alone for now, mainly because I have somewhere else I want to take you. Let us briefly visit The British Caning Society.

This isn't one of my regular hangouts; I've never been caned, or used one (although I think I may be growing interested in giving it a go, at a very gentle level). I haven't looked around extensively, but the forum entries I've read suggest that most of the participants like to be beaten rather than to top.

I have no problem with that. To each his/her/their own.

On the Forum there is a thread called CP Sessions and Arousal Rules, in which a relative newby asks for the experiences of his fellows with regard to tossing off after being beaten.

Inevitably dominas go by the same rules as spankees; no sex, and no suggestion that it would ever be available. However, the reports provided suggest that many, if it's discussed in advance, will allow self relief.

Punished Brats
I'll leave aside the whole issue of how much you can control arousal (and I don't doubt that, with the proximity of bodies when spanking OTK in particular, accidents must happen, even if this is only seepage rather than spurtings), but the whole issue raises a slightly tricky question.

Is spanking a spanko, or allowing him/her to spank you, effectively providing a sexual service?

I'd say no, personally, if only because spanking works for me on more levels than just the sexual (although that is clearly the most obvious). The Law clearly agrees. I suppose that you could consider it as equivalent to a good massage.

The other reason to say no is that, if you say yes, then professional spankees/switches/tops are effectively prostitutes, and I do not think that is the case in the slightest. For a start, most professionals get off on the spanking themselves, and I'm morally sure that isn't generally the case with prostitution.

So, to be plain. Professionals are not prostitutes. I do not wish anyone to infer that I am saying that they are. Black and white, clear as day. They are much more akin to massage therapists. Who really enjoy their work! And why shouldn't they? We do.
Spank That Brat

I don't go home from a spanking session frustrated that I haven't been unable to unload. I have a certain amount of self control, and the memories of a good session will give me spanking self satisfaction for weeks; in fact that first time back home may well be more intense for the delay in gratification.

It's just that, well, I'm paying for a service; the customer is always right, and I'm certainly not asking my spanking partner to be involved in my moment of satisfaction. In fact, I'm a bit shy, and I'd hate that. I suspect that I might not even be able to finish, in the presence of a relative stranger.

I could pop into the bathroom, use a tissue, flush it down the loo, and squirt some air freshener. There. Done. No fuss, no muss, no waiting or frustration.
Dunno, just like her expression. And bottom

Still, I can't see myself ever raising this with a spankee; while I'm happy to spell out complex (sometimes) scenarios in my emails, or even over the phone, I couldn't bring this up. Fundamentally I'm happy with the situation; this is just kind of a, oh, you know, thingie. A fantasy maybe.

Which I guess means that this whole post has been kind of a prolonged wank.

All the best


The pictures are just random spanking shots that do that arousal thing; I've added a note of where each comes from to the images.

Oh, and as you've read this far, I have one final filthy thought. Does wanking describe only male masturbation? I think it relates to the (ahem) action, which would suggest that it does. What do you think?


  1. Very well said! I do just the same - watch videos (mostly F/f spanking and - especially - caning), get an erection, masturbate, ejaculate. It generally takes me about 20 minutes too.

    I sometimes get spanked and caned by male doms, and they certainly don't object to (mutual) masturbation.

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting; male doms are a bit outside of my comfort zone, but I'm interested to hear that they seem okay with self-relief.

      Anyone else care to share?

      All the best