So, are we weirdos? Or what?

No, no, don't run off. I'm not insulting you. Not yet anyway. This includes me, so I'm loath to label our little group as all that odd.

It's just that, well, we may be.

Let's just think about this a little.

If you're a spanker, then at least part of what turns you on is either inflicting pain, or else dominating (or controlling) another individual. Perhaps both.

I love to spank, but I don't consider myself to be a sadist. I certainly don't spank in order to place myself above someone. I like fairly gentle spanking; I love the sensations, and the rituals.

I love to be spanked, but I don't consider myself to be a masochist. Apart from where my bottom is concerned, I hate pain, of any sort (well, I suppose I appreciate the day after muscle ache that comes from a useful physical activity, but that's hardly relevant). I don't need to be told what to do or how to behave. Again, it's all sensations and rituals.

I guess that the rituals side is important to many of us, given the number of spankos who indulge in role play; if it's only the act of spanking or being spanked that turns you on, then no build up is necessary. How many spanking videos do you like that just start with a spanking, and feature only that? Not too many, I'd guess.

We need the story, the build up, the justification.

In short, we love the ritual.

In part this explains our fascination with the stock phrases that even vanilla people associate with corporal punishment; come on, you know them as well as I do. "Bend over", "six of the best", "you need a good spanking" "don't you dare do that", "my palm is itching" and so many more.

Let's assume that, for most if not all of us, spanking has a sexual element, even if it doesn't always lead to intercourse. The enjoyment of spanking, with nothing more, is generally sexual. Most of us become aroused seeing spanking videos and photos, or reading spanking stories.

I assume that, at least in part, that's why you guys keep coming back here.

Hey, it's why I do. I often finish a post with some tension in my trousers (of course, I usually add pictures last, which may have a baring on this).

To be entirely natural, sexual intercourse should lead to the possibility of procreation (on it's most basic level). Sex being physically pleasurable leads to a Darwinian imperative to reduce.

It's really only since the 1950's that society as a whole has accepted sex can be pleasurable for both sexes, and not be undertaken with the assumption that conception is a possible result.

Before you yell at me, I know that many men have practiced sex for pleasure before then, and that women have too, but societal mores have always suggested that, in the case of women at least, sex isn't supposed to be fun. Just look at the Victorians, for God's sake.

"Lie back and think of England " may be joke advice now, but for 150 years after it was first coined it was considered to be good advice to married women, whenever their husbands presumed to inflict their physical person upon them.

This is, of course, the root cause of the double standard that a man who sleeps around is kind of a hero, and that a women who does so is a slut. The potential consequences have an impact too; men can walk/run away, whereas women are left holding the unintentional fruits of their relationships.

It's all bullshit, of course.

I don't know about you guys but I tell my kids that there's nothing wrong with premarital sex, provided they take precautions, and care for the person that they sleep with. Irrespective of the sex or inclinations of their partner (my son considers himself to be bisexual, and I must admit that I suspected he might be gay, although he has only ever been in relationships with girls - I'm honestly fine with it either way, and I've told him so).

Actually heterosexuals and homosexuals should be jealous of bisexuals. Not an original thought, I know. And I'm not sure I agree. Sure, theoretically they have more choice but me, I'm boring. I really only like women, to the extent that I only want to spank or be spanked by women.

Not too fussy about their age though, so long as they're of legal age.

Okay then, back to it; sex is intended for procreation, spanking is sex, and spanking, unless you combine it with fucking, isn't going to make babies.

So, if those definitions are accurate, spanking is, at least, deviant.

I don't consider that to be a judgement. I'll go with the Lenny Bruce quote, which I'll have to paraphrase, as I'm fucked if I can find it on line; 2,3 4 people, none of it's dirty to me, so long as no one is harmed.

If he didn't say that, he should have.

Incidentally, I think Bruce actually said hurt, but we have to change that; spanking does hurt, which really is okay, so long as no one suffers physical or psychological harm. Hurt = sting. Harm = long term damage.

Quick question (I'll give you my answer in a moment); how out are you? Are you embarrassed if your colleagues know that you're a spanko? How about your close friends? Your family?

My wife is the only person I currently know who definitely is aware of my tastes, although I suspect that my son does.

Let's face it; despite the increasing profile of spanking in popular culture, it's still seen as something unusual. A little odd. Maybe the subject for jokes.

There's a thought. In films in the 1930s to 1950s spanking was often placed in a comedic context (the two most famous spankings, in Kiss Mr Kate and McLintock, both are). Now spankings are starting to rear (if you'll excuse my use of the word) their head again, they are usually shown in a sexual context (fair enough) but, again, for comedic purposes (off the top of my head, My Family, Bored to Death, Doctors).

I think that this is a sign that society has not yet accepted our kink. You tend to laugh at things that make you uneasy (black comedians use this to great effect in their reclaiming of the word "nigger" - watch a Reggie Hudson DVD if you doubt this - watch one anyway, as he's a brilliant comedian, although some of his stuff can be particularly unsettling, such as his discussion of rape in history).

So, I suppose we should look at how we define a weirdo. The dictionary has it as "person who is bizarre, unusual".

I'm a firm believer in the idea that everyone is unusual; no two of us are the same (leaving aside the genetically odd identical twins, who fascinate me - perhaps because I'm a Gemini, although maybe not). SO that bit of the definition is worthless.

Bizarre? I think that overstates the issue.

Synonyms vary as widely; honestly, the English language is fucking hard to analyse. I particularly like screwball, odd bird and eccentric. I'm pleased to put up my hands to any of these. Even without the spanking fetish.

Are we weirdos? I think this ends up being very much an "eye of the beholder" issue; I don't think that we're weird, but it's not hard to see why some vanillas do.

I know that my wife, who is a spanko purely by necessity rather than inclination, finds my desire to be spanked odd. I've never gotten her to explain why she's okay with me wanting to spank her, but somewhat freaked by my sudden enjoyment of going over her knee.

I would say it's a pain thing, but I fail to see why it's more reasonable to enjoy inflicting pain (even at a mild level) than it is to enjoy experiencing it. If anyone out there can set me straight on the issue I would genuinely appreciate it.

Totally beyond me though.

Is being a spanko a natural thing? Difficult question. I always thought that homophobes who said homosexuality was unnatural were talking through their arses. Lots of animals will happily penetrate anything, irrespective of gender. Dogs can be right arse bandits, for example.

I'm not sure that there is an equivalent in spanking.

I know that a few animals, such as cats, hunt for pleasure, and will toy with their prey before killing it, torturing it slowly, but that's rather different from our thing. Unless you are much odder than I care to think about!

Leaving aside Beatrix Potter and Rudyard Kipling, I don't think that animals practice corporal punishment, even for disciplinary reasons, and certainly not 'cos they're kinky for it.

So I guess it is a little unnatural.

But oh so much fun!

At this stage, if I'd planned this piece out properly, I would present you with a neat conclusion. Sadly I can't do that, as I don't know the answer.

Weirdos seems just a bit too harsh. I don't think that I am one, anyway.

Of course, I am fairly fucking odd.

Ah, I dunno.

Do you think you're a weirdo? Why not complete the poll over there, and let me know?

All the best

Tim

All pictures this time are from Girl Spanks Girl

PS I wrote this last night, after several drinks, but I'll post it as is; it's a bit rough but generally holds up, I think.