Thursday, 28 June 2012

It's Thursday? Time for a Good Old Rant then

Nope, not a belt. Kind of a flail, I think
I love spanking. You know that. I also love being spanked; you probably know that too.

I love my wife. I don't love everything about her though.

Guess what? There are some things in spanking that I dislike too.

Here, for your reading pleasure (or to bore you into a somewhat sulphurous coma, if you aren't entertained), are a handful of things that I don't like. They're in no particular order because, well, I've never been organised in the past, and I don't want to confuse anyone by changing now.

In the immortal words of The Ramones, here we go, 2, 3,4.

 1.  the diaper position. It's ugly, uncomfortable (that may not matter if you're punishing someone, I suppose), and far too gynaecologically revealing. I look at spanking stuff to get turned on, and, as soon as I see a girl in the diaper position, my dick sags. Who the fuck wants to be reminded of babies when they're looking for a few moments of sexual satisfaction. Actually....


 2. the borderline paedophiles who chase videos of kids being spanked, claiming that it's research. Bollocks! Own up - they turn you on. I'm entirely willing to believe that you don't want to have sex with kids (I don't necessarily feel that way about every girl I see being spanked), but, at the end of the day, you're still going to be tugging on a stiffened todger. Come on guys; it's creepy.


 3. the belt. I just don't like it. I read somewhere a comment that those who dislike belts were beaten with them as children. Not me. I can't explain it; I can't think of another implement that affects me in the same way. I just don't get aroused by belt spankings. I always end up framing them in a comedy context ("Do that again, and I'll take me belt off to thee. And, by Thunder, me trousers will fall down".)


 4. professional spankees who refer to their fees as "tribute". All right, this is incredibly petty on my part; I know, I know, "For the sake of cross-dressing Christ, get a life Tim". It's just that, professionals provide a service, and are entitled to expect a fee; there's no need to dress it up as tribute - like it's some voluntary gift made by the client! I can sort of see it where you visit a pro-domme, as part of the fantasy, but me it just irritates. (Is this a universal practice anyway? Or just another example of British oddness?)

 5. verbally abusive spankers; you're already smacking their arse, why do you feel the need to insult them as well? Okay, I know, some subs will get off on this, but in spanking videos it's just kind of crass. And a large part of the reason why you won't find a review of Girls Boarding School on here, anytime soon.

 6. otherwise perfectly reasonable people insisting on telling others that their spanking inclination is the only correct one (I'm thinking of Murray on Chross's forum threatening to delete items with a man being spanked,  as it isn't his thing (damn, a second set of parentheses, but I have to acknowledge that I've simplified the whole argument dreadfully here)).

Wow, I feel better now that I've gotten that lot off my chest (it's a shame I can't get stuff off my stomach so easily, as I could do with losing a few (well, a lot) of inches from there). If you could transplant the spare inches from my middle onto my dick, I'd have an erection the size of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Umm, not sure where that thought came from.

I'd like to rant about one last thing; fucking asshole football commentators! I've enjoyed much of the Euro 2012 tournament (England excepted, although the Sweden match was exciting) but I hate virtually all of the commentators, on both channels. Here in soggy old Blightly, that is.

Especially the so-called experts. I've never heard so much small-minded, bitter, unfunny and basically hate-filled bullshit on a television broadcast.

Calm down now Tim. Take a deep breath. Ah. Relaxed again.

Coming up; more of my frankly irrelevant opinions, reviews of English Spanking Online, Spanking Sarah and Girl Spanks Girl. Interviews with Tad from Hand-Spanking, the wonderful Pandora, and (the hardest working man in spanking) The Cameraman.

I will also be running a "it's been part of our lives for 6 months, so now what do I think" article on Dreams of Spanking.

Also I hope to provide a report on visiting a professional spankee (if she will still see me after this!), in the hope that it may push some of you who have been thinking about it, into actually doing.

All the best

Tim



Are Amelia's eyes actually popping out in this picture?

 I was going to include pictures illustrating the things that I don't like, but subsequently I decided that was a silly thing to do; much better to use pictures I do enjoy looking at. The ones this time are all taken from Girl Spanks Girl, Hand-Spanking.com and Sarah Gregory Spanking

4 comments:

  1. Then you won't like me lovely, as I use the term tribute for all I do as a sub and a dom! Then again, there are many things that annoy me about the scene too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah my love, you know I'd never say anything bad about you! I'm just moaning about the practice, not the practitioners.

      (Did I get away with that, do you think?)

      All the best

      Tim

      PS the pro-spankee I'm seeing next week uses tribute too!

      Delete
  2. I think most do. Unless someone uses direct terms of language i won't either. And no, you didn't get away with it ;-) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rats! I hoped you wouldn't see through my subtle subterfuge. Ah well, if we ever met I'm sure you could find a way to impress your point on me.

      I do actually take your point about direct language though.

      All the best

      Tim

      Delete